Tips to Help a Child with Impulse Control

Impulse control is the ability to stop and think before acting. It’s one of the executive functions children need in order to control their thoughts and actions in family, social, and school settings.

It’s important for parents to remember that young children are not expected to consistently control their impulses or their thoughts and actions. They rely heavily on adults to help them control themselves. As kids mature, we expect them to internalize rules and to develop better and better self-control so that they are not at the mercy of their impulses.

However, not all children develop at the same pace as their peers in this critical area.

If you have a child who exhibits any of the behaviors below, she or he could benefit from some behavioral interventions:

• Has trouble controlling verbal impulsiveness (talking excessively, interrupting)

• Has trouble controlling physical impulsiveness (grabbing, pushing, hitting)

• Runs off in stores or other settings

• Has problems doing homework

Here are a few interventions that may help.

When she talks too much or interrupts, try this:

• Teach rules she can apply in a variety of settings. For example, "When you walk into a room or join a group, first listen to see what they’re talking about. Then you can add a brief comment on the same topic."

• Offer a visual cue, such a holding up a hand traffic cop style, to indicate no talking. In a classroom, post and point to a picture of an ear, indicating "no interrupting."

• Use rewards to reinforce successful behavior. For example, if she has played quietly while you were on the phone, respond immediately by offering to play a game with her.

More great tips....

Eamon is progressing into vaulting with therapeutic horseback!!

I am wound up with excitement!! I just love everyone over at ARCH!  They have been working with Eamon for over a year now and he has been progressing so nicely.  One of the amazing things that I have found is that he can do things on a horse that he struggles with off the horse. 

Rindy, Program Director, has been working with Eamon since we switched to Thursday mornings with our new home school schedule.  At the last session she said, "We are going to introduce Eamon to vaulting next week, so don't be scared".  I had this vision of Eamon being pole vaulted off the horse.  She allayed my fears by saying it is an intro to vaulting and that I will see what she means next session.  I knew nothing about vaulting.  I was really nervous but excited at the same time. 

So, Thursday we arrive to find a very big (wide) horse named, Anders.  Eamon never rode Anders before as he is reserved for older children.  This is pic of Anders.

Before I knew it, Eamon was on his knees with no hands while Anders was walking! Eamon faced forward, then sideways, then backwards while on his knees and placing his hands on his hips, head, punching the air in front of him.  You could see every muscle in his body was being used.  He started to make those sounds like when you wiggle your tongue up and down really fast.  I knew that this activity was getting his neurons firing full force.  Talk about full on proprioception and vestibular activity!!

I was near tears with joy!  It may sound easy, but this is no easy feat.  Keep in mind too, that this is a child who had trouble sitting like and indian during circle time.  ..who was working with an OT kneeling on a wedge while doing a table top activity ...who was bouncing on a ball for increased stability...but on this horse...he is amazing!!

Also, horses intimidate me.  I used to ride when I was a kid.  They could look right into your soul and see everything.  I loved to ride when I was younger, but since I have been with horses as an adult, I have always felt insecure around them.  I know that they sensed this too.  At one point, Eamon almost slid off.  Anders stopped in his tracks without command and proceeded to look back to see all was ok.  Then he looked over at me.  I am not only grateful to the instructors at ARCH, but filled with gratitude for God's amazing creatures who really have an intriguing power. 

Next week, I will bring my video camera to capture some footage.  For more info on vaulting, click here. 

The Horse Boy & Atlantic Riding Center for the Handicapped

ARCH and Towne Stadium 16 Theater invite you to a special fundraiser!

In partnership with Frank Theaters,ARCH is selling tickets for the area's only showings of the movie The Horse Boy and keeping a portion of the proceeds.   

Showing at Towne Stadium 16 Theater 11/6/09-11/12/09

A portion of the ticket sales will go to Educational Curriculum Development for children with Autism and partial scholarships for children with Autism.


Please call ARCH 609.926.2233 to purchase tickets or ask for the ARCH tickets when you go to the box office at Towne Stadium 16 Theater

Embarking on Homeschooling....

Wow, so far this has been an interesting experience.  I have joined home school networks in the area and the people I have met so far are by far the most warm, welcoming and kind people I have come across in quite a while!

It really is alot of fun.  It is not like we just sit home isolated in a cave doing 'home work' all day long.  Quite the contrary.  Everyday is a field trip.  Everything we do is a learning & therapeutic opporuntity. 

When you really start to dig, the community really has alot to offer.  Nature classes, art classes, activities and field trips galore. 

We purchased curriculum through Calvert.  It is accredited by Middle States, the same accrediting body that accredits most of the public education programs.  Eamon tested advanced...and is enrolled in their kindergarten program at a young 4.  He is doing exceptionally well. 

He is back to writing his name and writing letters.  He is learning how to spell small every day words...and his zest for learning is back.  Everywhere we go that he sees a sign, he asks me to read it and spell the words.  By the end of this year, I am certain he will be reading!

Reading comprehension presented somewhat of a challenge.  There are no pictures in the stories they provide.  Because Eamon is so visual and kinesthetic, we have had to be really creative.  As I read the story, he cuts out pictures that relate to the story and we make puppets.  For example, The Lion and the Mouse fable was one of the stories...so we worked on writing big M and it's little buddy, little m for mouse.  Then worked on L for lion.  We also made hand puppets of a lion and a mouse and finger puppets too! When it came time to ask questions about the story...he had it all down! I was really impressed. 

He LOVES math.  I could work with him all day doing just math...I am not surprised...his two older brothers are very strong in math, as was his dad and I. 

He is also very intrigued by extreme weather.  Our budding meteorologist is so fascinated with tornadoes, hurricanes, volcanoes, etc.  He loves to watch Discovery Channel's Storm Chasers.  He can tell you which tornado is a wedge tornado.  Do you even know what a wedge tornado is?  He can tell you all about Hurricane Bill and unlike the rest of us, loved the recent flooding in our shore town.  We got creative and made a mock volcano.  A little red dye to vinegar applied to baking soda yields a nice explosion of 'hot lava'.  We are rolling with this interest...working on letter T, H, V.  Performing fun science experiments...found on this awesome website built for kids by a meteorologist.  Weather Wiz Kids

He gets Speech Therapy once a week...therapeutic horseback is still on board...sees a psychologist once a week...is invovled in Karate...tumbling is going back on the plate...looking into adding swim...and will be doing sensory activities, listening therapy, social skills, etc with an OT out at The Schlinic. 

We will continue to share our journey and it's many successes!

Karate is working out quite well!

Eamon is a Lil' Dragon at The American Martial Arts Academy.  I really loved their documented approach to discipline and thought it was worth sharing...

'Parents enroll their children into martial arts for many reasons, but a top reason is they want their child to learn respect and discipline.  Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary gives one definition of discipline as "training that corrects, molds or perfects the mental faculties or moral character."  Some people envision discipline as corporal punishment, however this does little to mold or correct.  Discipline and respect go hand in hand, which is why corporal punishment would not fit into that definition.  No one can gain respect through physical punishment.  

When teachers are taught "discipline" methods, they are taught prevention methods rather than direct methods.  They are taught to design their rooms so students will find fewer open areas to run and not set the noisy block area next to the quiet reading area.  They employ group reward methods, such as a marble in a jar for every compliment or good report the class receives.  When the jar is full, the class receives a reward.

The discipline you want to teach is the one that trains children, but is this a reasonable expectation from preschoolers?  The most difficult thing for many instructors is to tolerate things that are part of the child's state of development (asking why, not being able to sit still for long), but correct rude or dangerous behavior.  While they won't achieve perfection, many problems can be avoided by teaching children self-discipline techniques.

One of the most common discipline problems is anger.  Children can show this emotion and can express it, but they don't understand it.  When children are out of control, understanding anger can give them options.

In martial arts, discipline is usually more physical as opposed to corporal.  This is because you want to gently mold the children to the correct form or attitude.  You don't want to break the spirit of the child, just guide the child in the manner you wish him or her to go. 

Autistic boy hit by truck dies

SEATTLE - State Route 99 is a busy roadway, with cars flying by. Eleven-year-old Devine Farrier was trying to cross it Saturday when he was hit by a one ton flatbed pick-up truck.

He died Sunday at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.

His family had reported the autistic boy had disappeared from his Sea-Tac home just 15 minutes earlier, and in that time he had wandered through the woods and onto the freeway without any shoes.

You may be wondering why an 11-year-old child was walking on State Route 99 all alone, but for parents of children with autism it's something they worry about all the time. In fact, the National Autism Association found in a recent study that 92 percent of parents with children with autism consider those children at risk for wandering away. Read on...

Note: This is one of my worst fears!!! Last year we had applied for NJ DDD. If we had been approved, we would have been able to work with our county's ARC, a subsidiery of Division of Developmental Disabilities. ARC could have reached out to businesses to help us secure materials to build a fence, secure the doors and windows, etc...everything to keep my son safe and secure. But we were denied DDD.

A fence would cost nearly $5k, new windows on our old house about $175 a piece, special locks by a locksmith also sky high. With the economy the way it is, we just don't have the resources to create the environment that is needed to keep him safe...so I am constantly on high alert. He will just dart out the door and down the street without saying a word.

On a side note: Autism Speaks generates tons of money with their fundraisers...but none of those monies go to help families in need. Before you jump on the bandwagon with one of these big organizations thinking you are doing the right thing, think again. Do your own fundraiser and raise money for your neighbors who have autistic children. Find out what they need and raise the money to support them...not the administration of large orgs.

10 Great Traits of Parents of Children with Special Needs

Joan Celebi of SpecialNeedsParentCoach.com shared this great list of traits in her recent newsletter. She has allowed me to share...do you identify?

It's been said that having a child with special needs brings out the best in us, and I heartily agree. I suspect you'll recognize yourself in the qualities listed here:

Ten Great Traits of Parents of Children with Special Needs

10. Camaraderie
Meet someone new + find out they have a child with special needs = instant friend.

9. Sense of humor
It carries us through even the worst of days.

8. Appreciation
... for what's truly important in life.

7. Determination
A "do whatever it takes," never give up attitude.

6. Vigilance
Often anticipating and heading off potential problems before they happen.

5. Empathy
... for others facing challenges in life, whatever those challenges may be.

4. Intellectual prowess
... from reading all those research studies!

3. Resourcefulness
More often than not, we find a way or make a way.

2. Strength
Mental, emotional, physical ... and stamina, too.

1. Courage
We face challenges head on that we once could never have fathomed.

What other great traits of parents of children with special needs come to mind?

Irish Step Dancing Takes a Back Seat

Last fall, I wrote an article about fun therapies I was looking into. It is entitled, Already Looking Into Fun Therapy!

One of the fun things we were considering was Irish Step Dance. OK, so it is the Irish in us that were drawn to it but also, what a wonderful way to meet his proprioceptive needs!! We had to wait a year. So, this fall we gave a it a spin.

Eamon, Kieran and a friend of mine who has two neurotypical girls ages 5 and 3 gave it a try. The school was very kind in that they let us do a trial run. It was a bit too advanced for even the neurotypical 5 year old. Not enough music and fun to hold their attention. We are on the list to be reminded again next year to see if there is an interest.

In the meantime, we will just put on some fun music with a good beat and do a bit of our own dancing in our brand new "creativity center" that we are in the process of setting up.

We have a used table from a preschool. We have 2 used computers, one for each of the boys with internet access. We have to move my 15 year old into my 18 year old college student's inner sanctum in the basement. Then we we begin creating a fabulous and fun center for Eamon & Kieran's creativity to shine through art, math, reading, music, and so much more....

Been Very Busy: Lot's of Change

Well, it looks like we dropped off the map there, huh? We did not...we have been incredibly busy. And now I am excited to share all that we have going on and how optimistic we are as we embark on a new journey.

We signed Eamon and his younger brother up for a private preschool program. Within 5 days, they decided they would not be willing to manage Eamon. It took 5 minutes to get him to come in off the playground. He did not transition well in the mini play stations that were set up...he only had 15 minutes in each section, just barely enough time to get into building something. And worse yet, my 4 year old rolled up his paper in front of him and turned it into a telescope!! Can you believe the horror of it all?

Me, I am grateful that he is all boy and loves good healthy play out on the playground. I am glad that he is focused in his own creativity that he is not ready to drop it so quickly and move onto the next task. And the imagination of making a telescope...I am grateful to God that my son has imagination!!!

I believe that he is emerging thru autism.

However, he does not fare well in the traditional classroom environment. He gets overstimulated. So, I quit my job that I had just started to be able to pay for the private school and instead am now embarking on a home-schooling journey using accredited curriculum from Calvert.

We did the placement tests and my son places at the Kindergarten level!! He just turned 4 in July! I am so excited. I am learning that there is a term called 2E. Twice exceptional. Giftedness with special needs.

I will be sharing much more really soon...about the homeschool journey, continued speech therapy, continued success with therapeutic horseback riding, experience with Irish Step Dancing, success with Karate, meeting a new occupational therapist and so much more.

I am excited and optimistic!

Why Counting Works Part 2

Last month we visited a parent who didn't quite know what to do with her son's pre‐dinner potato chip request. Now let's take a look at the same scene, but we'll have our parent equipped to use the 1‐2‐3, or counting, method along with our "No‐Talking, No‐Emotion" rules. Why does counting work so well? As we'll see, Mom's focus on doing no extra talking during the brief conflict will eliminate cognitive confusion in her son. In addition, her focus on remaining calm will minimize his level of frustration. These two factors will help insure his cooperation. Read on...

There are some great tips in here...although I firmly believe that negative consequences such as "time out" do not work with my son and his needs. Consequences such as removing a privilege do. For example: Clean up these toys. If not, I pack them up and give them to someone who will appreciate them. The result, they get picked up.

Time out teaches my son nothing. He needs to learn exactly what is expected of him and he needs to learn tools to work with his special needs, when his special needs get in the way of meeting the expectation.

For example: He is frustrated over something and begins escalating. I tell him to take a deep breath. He does not. I ask him to take one with me. He does. I ask him to do it again with me, he does. Not only is he distracted and re-engaged in something else, he is now much calmer and can take the time to find the words to tell me what is going on with him.

When I ask him or his brother to do something and they appear to ignore me. I say firmly, ONE. They look over and look away, to test the boundary. I say equally firm, TWO. Now they begin to question it. You can see their wheels turning. I then say, Mommy has asked you nicely three times, do I need to get to THREE? Most times, I never get to THREE. When I do get to THREE, I find that getting on his level, looking him in the eyes and telling him the WHY's behind my request...he understands.

Key Policy Letters Signed by the Education Secretary or Deputy Secretary

Dear Chief State School Officers:

On May 19, the Education and Labor Committee in the U.S. House of Representatives held a hearing to examine the abusive and potentially deadly misapplication of seclusion and restraint techniques in schools. Related to this hearing was the testimony issued on the same day by the Government Accountability Office on “Seclusions and Restraints: Selected Cases of Death and Abuse at Public and Private Schools and Treatment Centers.” The testimony is available on the Internet at the following Web address:
http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d09719t.pdf.

I was deeply troubled by the testimony, as I am sure you would have been. As education leaders, our first responsibility should be to make sure that schools foster learning in a safe environment for all of our children and teachers. Therefore, I am encouraging each State to review its current policies and guidelines regarding the use of restraints and seclusion in schools to ensure every student is safe and protected, and if appropriate, develop or revise its policies and guidelines.

My home State of Illinois has what I believe to be one good approach, including both a strong focus upon Positive Behavior Intervention and Supports (PBIS) as well as State regulations that limit the use of seclusion and restraint under most circumstances (see http://www.isbe.state.il.us/rules/archive/pdfs/oneark.pdf). The State’s requirements, which I found to be extremely helpful as chief executive officer of the Chicago Public Schools, were described in testimony at the hearing. Illinois prohibits the use of seclusion or restraint for the purpose of punishment or exclusion, and allows trained staff to restrain students only in narrow circumstances. The State allows the use of isolated time out or physical restraint only in situations when it is absolutely necessary to preserve the safety of self or others; includes rules that must be followed when these techniques are used; and requires documentation of each incident to be provided to parents within 24 hours. Several other States have also adopted effective seclusion and/or restraint policies, but there are many jurisdictions that have not, leaving students and teachers vulnerable. Read on....

Florida father finds proof of abuse in school's surveilance system (video)

Vikas Kamat of Lecanto, Florida noticed that his son, who goes to a special needs school due to his autism, was coming home with ripped clothes. The 14-year-old boy can't speak because of his Autism and was unable to explain the recurring problem.

One day, Mr Kamat received a phone call that his son was in the emergency room with a broken finger that nobody could explain. He requested to the surveillance tapes from the school and was horrified by what he saw. View Video

Between Bus And School, 6-Year-Old With Autism Gets Lost On First Day

A 6-year-old Chicago-area boy with autism was picked up by a school bus for his first day Tuesday, but didn’t make it to his classroom. Instead, he was found wandering alone outside the school on his own three hours later.

Connor Donovan has autism and speaks only a few words. His mother, Laura, put him on his school bus Tuesday morning and was shocked to receive a call hours later saying that another parent found her son wandering alone outside the school. Watch Video

This is so scary....I feel for the parents!!

NeighborHeart Quality of Life Grants: ‏$500 per family

On Friday, August 28th (at midnight) we will be opening the window for the submission of Quality of Life Grant applications. If you plan on submitting an application this year, we encourage you to do so as soon as possible. Since our criteria is based on a first-come/first-serve basis, submit your application online and then mail-in all of your supporting documentation (that is, proof of household income and proof of diagnosis). All documentation must be postmarked by October 1st, 2009.
IMPORTANT UPDATE FOR 2009:
Due to the overwhelming need for financial assistance by low-income families, NeighborHeart will only consider applications from families making less than $30,000 per year. We certainly understand that these grants are extremely useful for all families, regardless of income. However, we believe that lower-income families are in the greatest need of financial assistance.

It's critical that you understand the rules and regulations for submitting an application. We will not be contacting you if your application is missing information. So, please be sure that you double-check your application and submit all of the necessary information.

If you have any questions regarding the Quality of Life Grants or the application process, please visit our Frequently Asked Questions page on the NeighborHeart website. If you have any further questions, please contact us via the NeighborHeart website. We will try to answer your questions as soon as possible. Details...

Autism: 50 at 50

Let us introduce you to one of the most unique events/ adventures to ever be attempted in the USA.

After 30 years in the making the "50 at 50" will be an exciting, first of it's kind, continuous bicycle ride raising the bar for all future events that involve all 50 states. It will be done by Brian Anderson at 50 years old. One of his main missions will be to raise awareness about Autism in honor of Carson his five year old grandson and all others that are affected by it.

This unusual adventure is sure to capture the hearts of Americans as they watch him criss-cross this great country.
Variety is what sets this event "miles apart" because in every state he will do 5 events: ride at least 50 miles, do 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, jog 5 miles, and golf 9-18 holes. On Saturdays he will invite the public to meet him in a "Walmart" and ride 5-50 miles with him. The participants will then get a free gift bag and T-shirt saying, "I rode with Brian on his 50 at 50".

With anticipated media exposure in print, radio, and TV from local to national, and real time tracking online, it is destined to be a "Where's Waldo" event.

We hope you have now caught the vision with only a glimpse of this special event. We are looking to partner with thousands of Americans to assist in a any way they can to make this possible.

Read on for more details....

Not Stupid

When Anna and Sean Kennedy discovered that one of their sons had Asperger’s syndrome and that their other son was autistic, they were truly devastated—but their family’s troubles were just the beginning. Turned away by no fewer that 26 special needs schools when searching for appropriate educational facilities for their boys, Anna and Sean were down—but not out. Anna was determined to prove that for children like her sons, the challenges of growing up with autism—to demonstrate to the world that they were simply Not Stupid—did not have to end in defeat. Through sheer guts and determination, they turned their situation into a victory by establishing a center of excellence for the care and support of those with autism. The school quickly became over-subscribed—proof that educational provision in this field is inadequate, and proof also that it is still possible to transform a vision into reality through simply not giving up. Anna’s story, and that of her ever-improving sons, is a beacon of inspiration for parents of special needs children all over the country. Not Stupid offers readers a rollercoaster of emotions—from the depths of frustration and despair to the dizzy heights of joy—but most of all, it offers a real sense of hope for those whose lives are affected by autism.

About the Author

Anna Kennedy cofounded the charity Hillingdon Autistic Care and Support in 1997. By 1999, with the fellow directors, the Kennedys had opened Hillingdon Manor School, a specialist primary school for children with an autistic spectrum disorder. By 2003, Hillingdon Manor School had expanded to open a middle and upper school, and now provides specialist education for 85 children with autistic spectrum disorders aged between three and 19.

Read excerpt

Yummy Pumpkin Recipes for a Great Cause!

It's that time of year again...when the pumpkins are ripening and we are gearing up for all the fun fall celebrations. Be sure to secure your copy of Pumpkin Recipes for the Autumn Holidays. You will be so delighted with all the wonderful creations you can make with pumpkin!

These books make great teacher appreciation books too.

50% of the proceeds this year will go towards the development of a new online autism community that we are in the process of building. This community will bring professionals and parents together in one place and offer valuable educational support for parents and a forum for professionals to share their wisdom.

Help us build this community by spreading the word about this yummy recipe book!

Auditory Processing Disorder in Children

What is auditory processing?

Auditory processing is a term used to describe what happens when your brain recognizes and interprets the sounds around you. Humans hear when energy that we recognize as sound travels through the ear and is changed into electrical information that can be interpreted by the brain. The "disorder" part of auditory processing disorder means that something is adversely affecting the processing or interpretation of the information.

Children with APD often do not recognize subtle differences between sounds in words, even though the sounds themselves are loud and clear. For example, the request "Tell me how a chair and a couch are alike" may sound to a child with APD like "Tell me how a couch and a chair are alike." It can even be understood by the child as "Tell me how a cow and a hair are alike." These kinds of problems are more likely to occur when a person with APD is in a noisy environment or when he or she is listening to complex information.

APD goes by many other names. Sometimes it is referred to as central auditory processing disorder (CAPD). Other common names are auditory perception problem, auditory comprehension deficit, central auditory dysfunction, central deafness, and so-called "word deafness."Read on...

Everybody Learns Differently: It's How We're Intended to Be

Everybody Learns Differently: It's How We're Intended to Be

Will H1N1 Vax Contain Thimerosal (Mercury)? ABC News Answers.

This is a still shot from an ABC News story: Study: Pregnant Women Hospitalized More Often For Swine Flu of Panavax, an H1N1 vaccine currently in testing (there are several.) The label indicates that this is a multi-dose vial containing Thimerosal used as a preservative. Click the photo to enlarge it. I have Googled Panavax and can not find any info, other than domain name registration to Sanofi Aventis. We present this to you as an "FYI" as info about H1N1 and vaccination options come in, so that you can make informed healthcare choices for yourself and your family.